


Not my day

by FanFicReader01



Category: Poets of the Fall
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, someone is having a bad day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 05:37:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10780653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicReader01/pseuds/FanFicReader01





	Not my day

My day starts very rainy. The dark clouds make me feel like I’m suffocating. When I go downstairs, there’s an unusual silence. It’s suffocating like the gloomy clouds outside.

‘Maya? Where are you?’, I look around the living but I cannot find her. In the kitchen I fall onto my knees. I crouch to my dog’s seemingly lifeless body. Tears roll down my cheeks.

 ‘Oh, Maya’, I snivel as I carefully stroke her fur. She’s cold and not breathing. I clench my fists while the tears keep coming.

 

I guess today is not my day, huh.

******

It’s illegal to do, but I start to dig a hole in the garden. I forgot to bring my raincoat along but I don’t want to go back inside now that I’m already digging.

The water seeps into my clothes and freezes me up to the bone. My knuckles look white. I’m trembling. I snivel and wipe away some tears. It’s all in vain. The rain keeps pouring down on me. For the last time I say goodbye to my beloved dog before I lay her to rest in her grave. It takes me some time again to fill the grave. After I’m finished I go back inside to have late breakfast.

The house smells strange and I feel empty. I look at my watch. It’s already a quarter past ten. Way too late to go to work, I guess.

 

But still, I go outside. This time I wear dry clothes and a raincoat. My umbrella high above me, sheltering me from the rain. The weather, however, is merciless. Due to the strong winds, the water still gets blown in my face.

I decide to go to a local pub. Maybe drinking would help me to get through this day. I know in reality it doesn’t, but a man can dream, right?

 

Bad choice.

 

 I ordered a drink and everything seems fine until I bump into the wrong man at the wrong time. He is clearly drunk already.

He yells at me, making violent gestures. Instead of just running away with my tail between the legs, I stand up against him. I make the same gestures and I shout back.

 

Bad move.

 

Before I know it, I meet his angry fist in my face. I immediately fall onto the floor. The world around me is spinning. It takes me some time to process on what’s going on. When I do, it’s already too late to defend myself against a new attack.  

 Bad pub.

No one does a thing to help me or stop the other man’s beating. I feel his boot in my stomach. I puke. Suddenly I get picked up like I’m a feather. A few seconds later I lay on the cold and wet cobbled street. My nose is bleeding, I can see it in the puddle of water and red.

With some effort I  get back on my feet. I’m trembling. When I reach my car, I see I got a parking ticket.

 

Today is not my day, I think bitterly.

 

******

 

Instead of driving home, I decide to wander the lonely streets a bit more until my head is clear again.

I forgot my umbrella in that stupid pub I’ll never visit again. Don’t want to go back.

When I receive a message from my boss about being late, I text him back that I’m sick in bed.

With no real goal, I stumble through the grey streets that all look the same somehow.

 

I’ve been walking mindlessly for so long now, that I am suddenly at the train station. I’m greeted with a flock of people walking up and down the hallways.

I feel a bit dizzy due to the fast moving crowd. I wipe some old blood from my nose. I decide to give my now aching feet some rest by sitting down on a bench at the platform.

While my gaze is going aimlessly over the different people, I finally notice and hear something. Someone is yelling. I can’t make up the man’s words but he sounds angry and desperate. My first impression is: shut the fuck up, it’s noisy enough already.

But then I also hear a nearing train. And then I see the angered man. He is wearing a brown beanie cap. He wears a thick cloak. He appears to be smaller than me.

 I decide to walk closer to understand what he is complaining about. If it’s about the train being late, you won’t help anyone with complaining about that, I think annoyed. Besides the train is approaching, is it not?

His words get partly muffled by the sound of the trains and the people on the platform and the voice on the speakers.

 

_The world. No sense. Worth. Dark. Life._

It’s in that very moment, I start to connect the things. The man is going to jump.

Without hesitating I push myself through the crowd to reach the stranger.

 ‘Stop! Don’t do it!’, I scream desperately, holding out my hand.

The other man doesn’t seem to notice me and I feel like I’m running in slow motion. I’m afraid I’m not going to make it.

The stranger is trembling. I think he is crying. The train is coming faster and faster. The stranger is going to jump but I grab him by the collar of his cloak, spinning him around in the process. He yelps.

 I hold him close against my body. No one seems to notice what’s happening.

My arms are tightly wrapped around the stranger while the train rushes by until it stops moving and people can enter.

 ‘Stay here a little bit longer’, I hush. He is shaking and crying. His face is nuzzled against my chest. I start to caress his back to calm him down.

 ‘I-, I’m afraid’, the other man sobs, finally looking up.

Dull blue eyes with nothing to lose look into mine. The watery blue is surrounded by pale skin but his cheeks and nose are pink.

Underneath the beanie, strands of blond hair show. He looks beautiful and it leaves me speechless for a sec.

 ‘Y- you’re beautiful’, I breathe. It feels stupid, saying it that bluntly. I feel stupid. I am stupid.

The stranger doesn’t know how to reply.

 ‘Please, don’t cry. Everything is going to be fine’, I then say. With a calloused thumb I wipe some of his tears away.

Without thinking twice, I press a soft kiss on the stranger’s lips. It leaves the other man flabbergasted. He doesn’t know how to react or what to say but he keeps standing close to me.

 ‘Why?’, he manages to say after a heavy silence between us.

‘Because I don’t want you to leave this world like that. Not that soon’, I simply answer. Then I sigh. ‘How about we take this conversation somewhere quieter?’

 The other man agrees with a small nod. I take his hand in mine and lead him to one of the small bistros this station has to offer.

 

After I ordered a drink for the both of us, I make eye contact with the other man.

 ‘Why?’, he asks again.

I sigh. I don’t know how to express myself but I try: ‘Look, kid, I’ve had a bad day already. I won’t go into details about my life because that’s not what matters right now. It’s just… I don’t want someone else who has a bad day affect them so much they want to take their own life. Also, if I can’t have a nice day, I want someone else to _have_ a good day. So at least I can try to make someone else’s day better. Does that make any sense to you?’

The words don’t come out easily and it’s not really what I wanted to say, but it’s a beginning, I think.

The blond stranger still snivels. ‘You really shouldn’t have saved me. I’m just a good-for-nothing. No one would’ve missed me.’

 ‘If that were true, I wouldn’t have saved you’, I counter.

The other man looks me in the eyes. The dull in his eyes has toned down a bit.

‘Why would you care about a stranger? You don’t even know me.’

‘That might be true… but I can’t just stand there and do nothing. It would make me feel wrong. Who else would’ve saved you?’

‘No one. Besides, who says you “saved” me? You know nothing about me!’, the blond spat. ‘It’s not your call to decide whether I live or not!’

 ‘It sure as heck is my call to do that if it makes _me_ feel better. If it makes _me_ feel like I’ve done something good for once!’, I snap back. I want to take my words back. I can’t.

It sounded so selfish. I didn’t really mean to sound that egocentric. I didn’t do it to make myself feel better. I did it because it felt like the right thing to do. It was a reflex. I’m an idiot.

Now I notice how I have stood up. Slowly I sit back. The bartender gives us a questionable look.

 ‘I, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. That was completely ignorant and, and.. Fuck, it’s just not my day today. I know that’s a shitty excuse’, I hide my face in shame behind my hands.

 ‘Then we have at least _one_ thing in common’, the other man huffs.

 

Suddenly I feel his hands pressing my hands away so we face each other again.

 ‘It.. It’s okay. You did what you thought was the right thing to do’, the man mumbles as if he could read my mind.

For the first time I see a smile on his thin, pale lips. I mirror his expression. Then he leans in and gives me a kiss.

 ‘Maybe I should thank you after all. For saving me back there. You were right. There was indeed someone who cared about me when I was at my lowest. And that person is you.’

 I turn a bright red.

We hold hands. We’re both cold. When we look out of the large window, the sun finally shows her face.

 ‘Shall we go outside?’, I suggest. The other man nods. I want to pay but the other man insists he pays.

‘It’s the least I can do’, he mutters.

 

The sun warms our cold faces.

‘My name is Olli’, the stranger introduces himself. I look at him.

‘I’m Jani’, I say. I’m hesitant to take his hand again but Olli isn’t. He slightly squeezes my hand.

‘I’m happy I met you, Jani’, he says. ‘If it weren’t for you….’

 ‘It’s okay, Olli. I’m glad to have met you too.’

 

Together we walk away from the station.

 ‘I’m wondering… would you be okay with the fact of me wanting to know you better?’, I suddenly ask.

Olli slightly chuckles as he places a hand on my shoulder.

 ‘It’s funny. I was just going to ask you the same thing. I really want to know more about the mysterious stranger who saved my life.’

 ‘Hehe, another thing we have in common then’, I remark with a grin.

 

Maybe today could be my day after all.


End file.
